The Ultimate Search............

It is Saturday evening and I have completed half the things I had thought of doing in the morning. For the rest of the things , I need access to the net and surprise, surprise.........it is not working. So, I was left with only a few options...either I could go out for a walk (i.e. some physical exercise), or read a book or scribble something. I chose the last one as it has been quite a while that I had had a chance to write and moreover I am too tired (may be more mentally) to go for the other two. Strange as it may sound but then they say that females are strange species............. Anyways, I have been going through a sea of emotions since the past couple of days and to be perfectly honest, it has sapped the entire energy from my body.

I am a young lady and am in that phase of my life, which probably is the toughest for any girl. Yes, I am trying to find my Mr Right. Until last week, I had the illusion that I have found him and was happy but due to some strange folding of events, it turned out that he was not to be my man. Well, poor guy!!!

I had been in touch with this guy since the past month and it was via the family route. I am one person, who until now cannot understand the concept of 'love' marriages. It might sound sad but I have always been a very strong advocate of arranged marriages. One can argue that this is because I am averse to risks and arranged marriages are supposedly a 'safer' (mind it, not fool-proof) option. Also the liability on self, of something going wrong (god forbid), is much less in such type of alliances. But whatever you wanna think, I still will go via this route at least for now....
OK, so why am I sad??? I have to answer this for my sake at least. Am I sad about losing someone? I don't think so as one month is too short a span to get attached and also I am one highly practical person and belive that whatever happens, life must move on. Then what else is bugging me??? Yes, I think I know the answer............I am sad and uncomfortable because of the fact that the entire process will have to start again. OH GOD!!!!!!!!! NO GOD!!!!!!!!!! Not again............

Believe me, it is such a drudgery. Right from sieving the potential candidate's name from Sunday's matrimonial papers to having a meeting with him, the entire process is like a 'chore'. Also, during this process one goes through a series of emotions. Everytime (at least until now) either you like the guy and not the family or you like the family and not the guy. Chances are few that you will like both of them and JIC you do, then something in you (or your family) does not make them like you..........Yeah, I know.........story of my life.............

It has been going on like this since last June and I can't believe I am still doing the same..........
I reeeeeealllyy don't wanna do it BUT do I have an option??? Is there no way I can just get the person I want without going through this gruelling procedure?

Yeah, don't shake your head as I know the answer myself as well. 'There are no short-cuts to life'; 'To get something one has to work for it'....bla bla bla..........No, I am not bulshitting these statements as I respect them myself and also believe in them but am really vexed at the minute and am kind of venting out my frustration. My apologies for that..........

But seriously, when we first started looking I didn't think it would be as difficult because at the end of the day, I just want a NICE guy. Now, I understand that the definition of a 'nice guy' is different for different people but for me a nice guy is one who is intelligent, mature, sensible and aware of his surroundings. He should have a good educational background and should be progressive in life. He should be a thorough professional but at the same time should know the importance of relationships in life. Looks are not that important, but yes, personality is. He should know what to wear when, how to carry himself and should possess good mannerisms. He should be an extrovert but not a party animal. He should be religious (be believing in god or at least some supreme power) and should respect his parents but most importantly, should respect the institution of marriage. Now is this too much to ask??? I can most certainly compromise on one or two minor traits but as far as mental compatibility, education and values are concerned, I am sure that I am not gonna budge. God only knows when am I gonna find my Mr Cool with these apparently 'rare' qualities but I seriously pray that it takes few of those stupid weekend trips to any of the 'central places'. Until then, I am keeping my fingers crossed and am praying hard..................

And after reading this if any of you is thinking that why am I making my views on such a personal thing public, then this is just a solace for those who are sailing in the same boat as me. I know it helps to know that you are not the only one going through this scutwork.