These days I am in between jobs and am trying hard to keep myself busy. There are still a good couple of weeks left for my new job to start and I am finding it hard to pass my time at home. So, I thought why not create a blog and post my thoughts on there. At least I can do something constructive like this!!! So here comes my first post for my newly created blog...
My blog's URL has the word homosapiens in there as I wanted it to relate to all the feelings that we human beings undergo during our lives. So let me start with what I have been feeling in the past couple of weeks.
I came back to India nearly a month and a half ago, after spending around 3 years abroad. When I took this decision, I was quite excited and eager to come back but as the D-day approached, my exuberance started fading away. However, I did come back...
After socializing for the first few weeks, I started looking for a job and luckily enough cracked it in my very first interview. It is a decent job with a half decent salary and I do not have any qualms about it. The only downside was that the joining date was a month and a half away from my first interview and in all this while I had absolutely nothing to do. So I couldn't help but ponder upon my decision to come back.....
I was happy in UK. Had a cool 9-5 job and my office was at a stone's throw from my home. I lived with my brother and sister-in-law who really cared about me. I had 2 really cute kids at home to play with and a nice bunch of friends, who although did not meet me frequently, were always a phone call away. Then why on earth did I move back???
Maybe because the grass is always greener on the other side or was it because of something else??? Let me find this out for my sake.
I never really wanted to go out of my country in first place but had to do so due to some unavoidable circumstances. Since younger years, I was a kind of patriotic person who wanted to do something for my country. I even wanted to enter politics but could not gather enough courage to do so partly because of my middle class background, with more emphasis on studies and partly because I was scared to enter that filthy world. Anyway, I thought that there might be other ways of serving my country and so I continued to work hard.
After completing my post grad abroad, I worked there for a couple of years and then finally came back only to find that I am not liking the political, economic and social systems here. I am not liking the ever widening gap between the rich and the poor. I am not liking dirty politics. I am not liking the quota system and I am not liking religion wars. Virtually, I am not liking anything about this country!!!
Has all this happened in just the 3 years I was away for? Was this not rampant when I was here? Of course it was. The only difference now is that maybe I have decided not to like it. Maybe I am so frustrated of sitting at home that I have decided o vent my frustration by blaming everything around me. And maybe because somewhere deep inside, I am not happy with my decision of coming back.
I still am unaware of the real cause of my behaviour change towards my motherland, which once I was really proud of. It can be that the things have really gone from bad to worse or it is just that after seeing a country which is better than ours in most aspects, I have a desire of spending my life there.
I do not know what the real cause is and if it is the latter, I am not sure if anything is wrong with that. At this stage I don't even know whether I would ever cross the boundaries of this country again (for settling abroad) but most certainly, right now I am feeling like a criminal for even just thinking about leaving my own land...
